Coming Home
A reflection on returning to ourselves in the middle of everything changing
This edition is one of my ongoing reflections - from real conversations, lived moments, and the shifts I believe are reshaping how we lead today and tomorrow.
Hi Dear Ones,
I’ve been away for a while.
Not just from this newsletter - but from a version of life that felt steady. In the past few months, I navigated a period of real upheaval: living through an unexpected conflict in the Middle East, relocating countries, leaving an organization I cared about, and stepping into a new one I’m excited about - all within weeks of each other.
I won’t pretend it was graceful. It wasn’t. It was logistically exhausting, emotionally demanding, and surprisingly clarifying.
Now, back in Toronto and newly settled into a chapter I’m genuinely looking forward to, what emerged from so much movement has been stillness, perspective, and a few thoughts I want to share with you.
Reflections Shaping How We Lead
Survival mode can look like success - but it costs us something: During periods of intense uncertainty, we adapt. We become efficient at managing. We stay composed, deliver results, show up. And from the outside, it can look like high performance. Internally though, we stop operating from our center and start operating from our defenses. I’ve come to believe that instead of asking, “Am I performing well?”, an equally important question for leaders and high-performers is: “Am I operating from a grounded place - or from fear?” The two can look remarkably similar. They feel completely different. And over time, the difference shapes not only our wellbeing, but also the quality of our thinking, leadership, and performance.
Over-giving is often an unsustainable strategy for belonging: Many of us - high-achievers especially - have learned, somewhere along the way, that we earn our place through output. Through being exceptional, indispensable, endlessly accommodating. It becomes second nature. But over time, it creates imbalance: we give more than is sustainable, remain outwardly focused for too long, and slowly lose touch with what keeps us grounded, energized, and clear. The most impactful leaders I’ve enjoyed partnering with are able to contribute deeply without losing themselves in the process.
Returning to ourselves is its own kind of leadership: We talk a lot about resilience - bouncing back, moving forward, staying strong. This last period has made me think less about the bounce - and more about the return. The slow, honest process of reconnecting to what’s true for us after a season of noise. What we actually want. What energizes us. Where we feel more like ourselves again. I think this inner return shapes so much: how we show up in rooms, how we lead our teams, and how we make decisions under pressure. Groundedness strengthens the quality and sustainability of performance, and we can’t lead others well from a place of deep disconnection from ourselves.
Quotes I Keep Coming Back To
On Returning to Yourself:
"He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened." - Lao Tzu
On Constantly Striving:
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” - Socrates
A Question I’m Carrying
When did I last make a decision from a fully grounded place - and what made that possible?
With love, Vanessa
“Am I operating from a grounded place - or from fear?” …love this prompt! The output operating from either of these places to an external observer could be the same… however, the eventual outcomes and how you feel can be widely different!
Welcome back ❤️