This edition is one of my ongoing reflections - from real conversations, lived moments, and the shifts I believe are reshaping how we lead today and tomorrow.

Hi Dear Ones,

I’ve been away for a while.

Not just from this newsletter - but from a version of life that felt steady. In the past few months, I navigated a period of real upheaval: living through an unexpected conflict in the Middle East, relocating countries, leaving an organization I cared about, and stepping into a new one I’m excited about - all within weeks of each other.

I won’t pretend it was graceful. It wasn’t. It was logistically exhausting, emotionally demanding, and surprisingly clarifying.

Now, back in Toronto and newly settled into a chapter I’m genuinely looking forward to, what emerged from so much movement has been stillness, perspective, and a few thoughts I want to share with you.

Reflections Shaping How We Lead

1. Survival mode can look like success - but it costs us something: During periods of intense uncertainty, we adapt. We become efficient at managing. We stay composed, deliver results, show up. And from the outside, it can look like high performance. Internally though, we stop operating from our center and start operating from our defenses. I’ve come to believe that instead of asking, “Am I performing well?”, an equally important question for leaders and high-performers is: “Am I operating from a grounded place - or from fear?” The two can look remarkably similar. They feel completely different. And over time, the difference shapes not only our wellbeing, but also the quality of our thinking, leadership, and performance.

2. Over-giving is often an unsustainable strategy for belonging: Many of us - high-achievers especially - have learned, somewhere along the way, that we earn our place through output. Through being exceptional, indispensable, endlessly accommodating. It becomes second nature. But over time, it creates imbalance: we give more than is sustainable, remain outwardly focused for too long, and slowly lose touch with what keeps us grounded, energized, and clear. The most impactful leaders I’ve enjoyed partnering with are able to contribute deeply without losing themselves in the process.

3. Returning to ourselves is its own kind of leadership: We talk a lot about resilience - bouncing back, moving forward, staying strong. This last period has made me think less about the bounce - and more about the return. The slow, honest process of reconnecting to what’s true for us after a season of noise. What we actually want. What energizes us. Where we feel more like ourselves again. I think this inner return shapes so much: how we show up in rooms, how we lead our teams, and how we make decisions under pressure. Groundedness strengthens the quality and sustainability of performance, and we can’t lead others well from a place of deep disconnection from ourselves.

Quotes I Keep Coming Back To

On Returning to Yourself:

"He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened." - Lao Tzu

On Constantly Striving:

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” - Socrates

A Question I’m Carrying

When did I last make a decision from a fully grounded place - and what made that possible?

With love, Vanessa

This edition is one of my ongoing reflections - from real conversations, lived moments, and the quiet shifts I believe are reshaping how we lead today and tomorrow.

Last week visiting home with my family, we watched old videos from my childhood.

There I was - four years old, confident, sparkly-eyed, asking curious questions, dancing my heart out, and bossing adults around. I saw parts of me I’ve carried forward. Parts I’ve refined. And parts I’ve shut down - probably because life taught me to tuck them away.

And so I thought: what if our pursuit of growth sometimes leads us further away from ourselves? What if we’re chasing progress without pausing to remember who we were before the world told us who to be?

As I ease into the new year, I’m asking myself not just what I want to achieve - but what parts of me, and the soul of the child within me, I want to reawaken. And how I can create spaces - within and around me - where that version of me feels safe, joyful, and grounded… and where others, at work and in life, feel the same about themselves.

Reflections Shaping How We Lead

1. Reclaiming, Not Just Reinventing: Some changes are beautiful evolutions. Others are just adaptations. Over time, we pick up roles, habits, and personas that help us succeed - but not all of them serve our truth. This year, I want to unlearn the parts of me that grew from over-adapting or people-pleasing, and bring back some strengths I quieted along the way. Because real growth is all three: shedding what no longer fits, building what feels aligned, and reclaiming the parts of us we were never meant to lose.

2. Where There Is Joy, There Is Real Growth: Somewhere along the way, we were taught that growth had to feel heavy. Rigid. Structured. Gritty. But when I look back, my most expansive growth always came in moments of joy, curiosity, and lightness. Whether in our personal lives or the teams we lead, if we want to build cultures that support growth, we need to invite more joy back in. This year, I want to follow that trail more often.

3. The Environment And People Around Us Shape What Stays In Us: The people, systems, and cultures we’re part of either water our essence or slowly dry it out. When someone feels appreciated for their realness, their most potent gifts start to emerge. It’s worth asking: Are we surrounding ourselves with people who help us remember who we are? Are we building teams that allow others to bring their full, raw, and vibrant selves forward? Because the environments we build shape what thrives - and what stays buried.

Quotes I Keep Coming Back To

On Becoming

“Maybe the you you’ve been trying to become is actually the you you’ve always been.” - Glennon Doyle

On Reclaiming Our Joy

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman

A Question I’m Carrying

If my four-year-old self looked at me today, what would she celebrate in who I’ve become - and what parts would she long to find again?

With love, Vanessa

This edition is one of my ongoing reflections - from real conversations, lived moments, and the quiet shifts I believe are reshaping how we lead today and tomorrow.

I’m at my best when I stop trying to be anything but myself.

When I’m not editing, overthinking how to show up, or spending energy adjusting to what I think is expected.

This edition is a reflection on authenticity - shaped by real conversations, personal moments, and the process of recently writing a white paper on The Complete Leader with Naomi Titleman and Mark Edgar from future foHRward (you can download it here, if you’re interested).

It’s also a belief I keep coming back to:

That we lead better, connect deeper, and live more fully when we stop performing and start returning to ourselves.

Reflections Shaping How We Lead

1. Authenticity protects our energy: Pretending is a full-time job. The more we adjust, perform, or try to show up “right”, the more we drain the energy we could be putting into what really matters. Authenticity is a return to self - and it brings ease. When we walk into a room grounded in who we are, we stop wasting energy wondering and forcing who we should be. That energy gets reallocated to our leadership, our relationships, our impact. And over time, the difference is enormous.

2. Realness creates resonance: There’s something powerful about being around someone who isn’t pretending. We feel it. We lean in. We trust them. Authenticity builds connection when we’re not hiding. People sense when we’re being real. It draws in the right collaborators, the right opportunities, the right kind of support. When we lead from our real center, people listen, and more importantly, remember.

3. Alignment clears the path: The clearer we are about who we are, the clearer everything else becomes. What we say yes to. What we say no to. What no longer fits. The more we act in alignment, the more things start to click into place. It’s not magic - it’s just coherence. We’re no longer sending mixed signals to the world. And that makes it easier for the right people, work, and experiences to find us. Authenticity gives our leadership a frequency people can actually hear.

Quotes I Keep Coming Back To

On Belonging:

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” - Brené Brown

On Becoming:

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” - Carl Jung

A Question I’m Carrying

If I trusted that the right people will stay when I’m authentic, what would I say differently this week?

With love, Vanessa

What genre? Leadership, AI, Human Growth

Why read? What does it really mean to be an AI-driven leader: it’s about evolving how we think, how we lead, and how we relate to intelligence - both human and machine.

Inspired by The AI-Driven Leader by Geoff Woods, this edition explores the inner shifts that help leaders thrive in today’s accelerated world.

AI is transforming everything around us - tools, timelines, expectations. But what shapes our impact is how we respond. This is an invitation to pause, reflect, and lead with presence in the age of acceleration.

Leadership Reflections Inspired by the Book

1. Attention is critical leadership currency in an AI‑accelerated world: As speed and complexity increase, the leader’s attention becomes one of their most precious resources. The ability to filter, focus, and stay present defines influence in this era. What you choose to engage with - and what you choose to ignore - reveals much more about your leadership than mission statements.

2. From Tool-Master to Curve Navigator: Mastering AI tools has its place. But leadership today requires sensing the curve - what’s emerging, evolving, or quietly reconfiguring beneath the surface. It’s the ability to read patterns early, hold space for ambiguity, and act with discernment. This is the craft of navigating what’s next.

3. The Human Algorithm: While machines calculate, humans create meaning. Your leadership code is shaped by judgment, values, and emotional depth - the elements algorithm can’t replicate. What defines your impact is how you interpret, contextualize, and breathe meaning into your leadership.

Excerpts I Enjoyed Reading

On AI as a Thought Partner

“I want you to think of AI as a thought partner… you can start to harness intelligence in a way that is so powerful, but it requires you to stop looking at it as an assistant and to start looking at it as a thought partner.”

On What Makes You Future-Ready

“AI will enhance you, it will not replace you, but those who become AI‑driven, they are the ones that will have the jobs of the future.”

A Question I’m Asking Myself

If my attention is the most powerful resource I have - where am I spending it, and what future is it creating for me?

With love, Vanessa

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This edition is one of my ongoing reflections - from real conversations, lived moments, and the quiet shifts I believe are reshaping how we lead today and tomorrow.

Hi Dear Reader,

It’s been a while.

After an unexpected minor medical situation that required full rest (and no screens), I’m slowly finding my rhythm again. I feel incredibly grateful to the family, friends, and colleagues who stepped in and supported me during this time. Thank you - for your care, patience, and kindness.

In this space of pause, I found something I didn’t know I’d been needing after a big year of transitions: a moment to reflect on the pace we live at, the things we miss when we’re always “on,” and the parts of ourselves that only speak up when things go quiet.

Here are a few reflections that surfaced for me during this time - and echoed in recent coaching conversations I’ve held.

Reflections Shaping How We Lead

1. Clarity Finds Us In The Quiet: With everything dialed down - meetings, emails, decisions - I noticed how much clarity began to emerge. Slowness, though unfamiliar (and often uncomfortable), helped me reconnect with what truly matters.

   This pause reminded me that rest isn’t a departure from life - it’s part of it. It’s where perspective sharpens, priorities reset, and insights we didn’t know we were missing, quietly rise to the surface.

2. Productivity Isn’t the Same as Presence: I’ve realized I often confuse speed with value. In moments of intense drive, being productive can feel like control - but it can also be a way to avoid the discomfort of stillness. Sitting with the unknown, or with emotions I’d rather skip past, takes its own kind of courage.

   This time off (re)taught me something simple but powerful: being must come before doing. Presence fuels purposeful action. When I allow space to feel, reflect, and center myself, the “doing” that follows is sharper, wiser, and far more aligned.

3. Our Emotional Ecosystem Deserves Intention Too: The people around me cared for me more than I could’ve asked for. Their presence reminded me how much strength lives in our relationships.

   We spend so much time nurturing our professional growth - but our emotional ecosystem needs intentional caring too. Friendships, colleagueships, and chosen family are the net that holds us when life unexpectedly pauses. I want to be just as deliberate in nurturing this as I am in everything else I care about.

Quotes I Keep Coming Back To

On the Quiet Power of Slowness:

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear” - Rumi

On Slowing Down for Beauty:

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” - Lao Tzu

A Question I’m Carrying

What part of my life is quietly asking for my attention - something I’ll only notice if I slow down long enough to hear it?

With love, Vanessa

PS: This return to slowness helped me re-anchor in what matters most - and it’s shaping how I’m thinking about the future of leadership in a faster, more tech-shaped world. More to come soon.

This edition is one of my ongoing reflections - from real conversations, lived moments, and the quiet shifts I believe are reshaping how we lead today and tomorrow.

I’ve always believed that the right question can open a room, a heart, or a mind.

Whether I’m spending time with a close friend, sitting around the dinner table with family, or coaching leaders, my instinct has always been to ask.

Over the years, I’ve seen how a single question, asked with presence and care, can shift the energy in a conversation. It’s what brings tears. It’s what brings laughter. And often (thankfully), it’s what brings the truth.

In this edition, I’m reflecting on what I’ve learned through my lifetime of asking and being asked. Because I truly believe that while answers are everywhere… the right questions? That’s where the magic lives :)

Reflections Shaping How We Lead

1. Great Questions Build Trust, Connection and Clarity: We often think intimacy takes time. But a well-placed question can accelerate it. Whether it’s with a client, a partner, or a teammate, a thoughtful question, asked with warmth, signals: “I see you. I’m with you.” It’s about being present. And the best questions I’ve received are generous. They invite someone to feel seen, to think more deeply, or to reveal something they didn’t even realize they were carrying. It’s how we shift conversations from surface to soul.

2. Questions Reveal the Fullness of People… and the Fullness of Ourselves: Every time I ask a question, I remember this truth: people are never just one thing.

   A question can show you someone’s wisdom, their joy, their wounds, their curiosity. It helps people share the parts of themselves they don’t always get to express. And every time I initiate a question game, we might go from light laughter to deep emotion - within minutes.

   And it’s not just about asking. Receiving a question with honesty is an act of bravery too. It’s an invitation to be witnessed. Questions make space for our wholeness. And wholeness is where real human connection lives.

3. Questions Slow Us Down - And That Might Be the Boldest Move of All: We live in a world that keeps accelerating. With AI generating ideas in seconds, endless tools promising answers, and more noise than ever, it’s tempting to rush through conversation too. To be impressive, efficient, done.

   However, some of the most meaningful moments I’ve shared with people came from that pause - the moment after the question, when no one rushes in to fill the silence. That’s where trust grows. That’s where people feel something real.

Quotes I Keep Coming Back To

On the light inside the Question
“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” - Eugene Ionesco

On Doubt as a Doorway
“Great doubt: great awakening. Little doubt: little awakening. No doubt: no awakening.” - Zen saying

A Question I’m Carrying

What question might have deepened today’s conversations, if I had dared to ask it?

With love, Vanessa

PS: If you missed my first Reflection edition, I explored three emerging shifts shaping how leadership is evolving. You can read it here for context on what’s rising in real conversations with executive leaders - and what’s coming next.

What genre? Future of Work, Technology, Leadership and Societal Trends

Why read? Nexus is Yuval Noah Harari’s urgent call to action for a world entering a phase of rapid technological transformation. As AI, bioengineering, and digital platforms reshape how we live and lead, the question is no longer if we’ll change, but how thoughtfully we’ll shape that change. For leaders navigating complexity and uncertainty, this book is both a warning and an invitation. It encourages us to understand the systems at play and more importantly, the values guiding our decisions.

Leadership Reflections Inspired by the Book

1. Leadership Is Now a Technological Responsibility: Harari argues that AI is not just a tool, it’s a mirror. It reflects our biases, accelerates our decisions, and reshapes what leadership looks like. Leaders can no longer stay on the sidelines of tech conversations. Whatever our role or mandate is, each of us is now a technology steward, and we must become fluent in the ethical, societal, and emotional implications of tech - well beyond its utility.

2. We Need Navigators with Ethical Imagination: In a world of constant acceleration, Harari reminds us that the role of leadership is no longer about control - it’s about navigation. The leaders of tomorrow will be those who can adapt in real time, ask better questions, and evolve faster than the systems around them. But agility alone isn’t enough. What the future demands is ethical imagination - the ability to pause, reflect, and ask not just “Can we build this?” but “Should we?”. Future-ready leadership will require moral courage at the helm.

3. Emotions and Empathy Are Our Differentiators: As AI increasingly handles logic, computation, and efficiency, what remains human - and irreplaceable - is our emotional intelligence. Harari highlights the power of emotional awareness, care and empathy as non-automatable capacities. Rather than out-thinking AI, the leaders who will be most needed are those that out-care it.

Excerpts I Enjoyed Reading

On responsibility in the age of AI:
"Humans built the machine. But who built the humans? Our responsibility is not just to code better algorithms - but to become wiser programmers of ourselves."

On clarity in complexity:
"In a world where data is infinite, clarity becomes sacred. Leaders who cannot prioritize will drown in possibilities."

A Question I’m Asking Myself

In a world being rewritten by technology, am I evolving in my leadership with enough clarity and discernment to guide what truly matters?

With love, Vanessa

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What genre? Trauma, Healing, Human Psychology

Why read? Written by physician and trauma expert Gabor Maté, this book questions how much of what we accept as ‘normal’ is actually healthy. It explores the links between chronic stress, emotional repression, trauma, and illness, and invites us to rethink wellness both personally and systematically. In a world of accelerating demands, technological shifts, and rising disconnection, these insights are especially urgent for those in leadership or caregiving roles. As we shape the future of work, this book reminds us: sustainable leadership starts with understanding the human nervous system - and reshaping the cultures we call high-performing.

Concepts That Inspired Me

1. Our Coping Can Become Our Constraint: Many behaviors we admire (perfectionism, selflessness, relentless drive) often begin as survival strategies. Maté observes that traits like automatic suppression of healthy anger, an overwhelming sense of duty, a compulsive concern for the emotional needs of others, and a rigid identification with social roles are common among those who suffer chronic illness - not as causes, but as patterns of over-adaptation that disconnect us from our own needs. In leadership, this insight challenges us to pause and ask: are we acting from clarity and purpose, or from an unconscious need to please, prove, or protect? Growth begins when we can tell the difference. And healing begins when we realize that wholeness includes honoring our limits, not just our performance.

2. Trauma Isn’t What Happened To You - It’s What Happened Inside of You: One of Maté’s powerful insights is that trauma isn't defined by a traumatic event - but by how alone and unsafe we felt in the aftermath of it. It lives in what gets left unprocessed when we don’t feel safe, seen, or supported. For leaders and teams, this means our environments matter deeply. The emotional environment we create matters deeply - not just in crisis, but in every meeting, every conversation. When people don’t feel safe to speak, to stretch, or to show up fully, they adapt in ways that protect them but also limit their contribution.

3. The Culture We Normalize Can Be the Source of Our Suffering: Maté challenges the norms we rarely question like pushing through exhaustion, numbing our emotions, measuring our worth through output. What’s considered “high-performing” is often disconnected from what’s healthy. In leadership spaces, we need to reexamine how we define success. Are we rewarding survival modes, or supporting environments where people can thrive? True transformation begins when we shift not just individual behaviors, but collective expectations.

Excerpts I Enjoyed Reading

On the body’s silent protest:

“When the mind says, ‘I must keep going,’ and the heart says, ‘I’m not okay,’ the body listens to the heart. Illness is often the only voice we allow ourselves to hear.”

On early adaptation and adult identity:

“The personality we build to survive early life isn’t who we are - it’s who we had to become. Healing asks: What parts of me were strategies? And which ones are truly mine?”

Question I’m Asking Myself

What part of me have I been silencing, just to be seen as strong?

With love, Vanessa

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This edition is one of my ongoing reflections - from real conversations, lived moments, and the quiet shifts I believe are reshaping how we lead today and tomorrow.

What themes? Inner regulation, grounded leadership, and presence in a world that won’t slow down.

What’s this about? In my recent edition, I reflected on three shifts I believe are quietly reshaping how we lead. This edition takes a deeper look at the first one: “Inner pace is the new edge.” In a world of relentless speed, the leaders who stand out aren’t the fastest - they’re the ones who stay grounded.

Reflections Shaping How We Lead

1. Emotional Regulation Is a Leadership Superpower: We often think of emotional regulation as a personal skill - but it’s also a leadership asset. The most grounded leaders I know don’t bypass negative emotions. When pressure hits, they notice it, name it, and let it pass. From that place of calm, they choose how to respond. It’s not about numbing ourselves. It’s about becoming steady enough to lead with clarity and care - especially when it counts. That’s not soft - it’s the kind of strength that steadies a room.

2. Leaning into Feeling Is a Leadership Tool - When It’s Aligned: We often treat feelings as something to control. But real leadership isn’t about suppression, it is about intentionality: showing up with feeling, without being ruled by it. Feelings, when genuine and aligned, are a bridge - not a barrier. It’s what earns us trust, sparks care, and inspires movement. The leaders we remember bring heart into the room, and they do it on purpose.

3. Inner Stillness Is a Channel for Insight: In an increasingly complex world, gut feel increasingly matters. But intuition doesn’t speak over noise. It emerges in space, in stillness. When we’re racing from task to task, our inner compass gets blurry. But when we create even the smallest pause - clarity comes. In today’s landscape, that quiet pause isn’t indulgent. It’s essential. It’s where great leadership begins. Because wisdom doesn’t shout - it whispers.

Quotes I Keep Coming Back To

On inner change as the beginning of leadership:
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi

On pace and intentionality:
“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes a day. Unless you're too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.” Zen Proverb

A Question I’m Carrying

Where in my life am I rushing to respond - when what’s needed is a pause?

With love, Vanessa

PS: If you missed my last Reflection edition, I explored three emerging shifts shaping how leadership is evolving. You can read it here for context on what’s rising in real conversations with executive leaders - and what’s coming next.

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What genre? Memoir, Human Psychology, Behavioral Science

Why read? Written by a psychotherapist and author reflecting on her own therapy, this book is a wise, funny, and deeply relatable look into what it means to evolve and grow. Through her clients’ stories - and her own - Gottlieb shows us that beneath our roles and defenses, we’re all trying to answer the same questions: Can I feel more whole? Can I change my story? It’s a refreshing read exploring the different layers of self-leadership, relationships, and just the messy beauty of being human.

Concepts That Inspired Me

1. Change doesn’t happen in breakthroughs - it happens in small, consistent steps:
   Most of us long for a big “aha” moment, but real transformation often unfolds quietly. In showing up in tougher moments, in telling the truth when it’s not straightforward, in sitting with novelty or discomfort when we long for what’s familiar and in slowly building new truer stories about ourselves.

2. Humor helps us survive the hard stuff: This book is full of difficult truths, but also unexpected moments of levity. Humor, Gottlieb shows, is not avoidance - it’s resilience. It allows us to hold life’s heaviness with a little more breath. In leadership and life, we can take things that matter to us very seriously - without ever having to take ourselves too seriously.

3. Grief and growth can walk together: One of the book’s most tender insights is that healing doesn’t mean the pain disappears. It means we learn to carry it differently, with more compassion and less resistance. That’s true for leadership too - clarity doesn’t mean comfort. It means moving forward, even when it’s messy.

Excerpts I Enjoyed Reading

On Looking for More than Just Answers:

“We think we want answers. But what we really want are the things that answers don’t give us - hope, possibility, and a way forward. [Yet], the nature of life is change and loss. And the nature of being human is that we want to resist both.”

On Choosing the Pain That Moves Us

“Sometimes we remind [others] that they’re not choosing between pain and no pain - they’re choosing between the pain of being stuck and the pain of growth. The latter is hard, but it moves you somewhere.”

Question I’m Asking Myself

What truth am I circling around - that I haven’t fully let myself feel or speak yet?

With love, Vanessa

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This marks a new rhythm. Twice a month, I’ll be sharing my newsletter - one edition inspired by the books and ideas that shape how we grow (as you’ve come to know), and one sharing my thoughts on leadership trends and reflections from the field. This edition kicks off that new series.

What themes? Future-Ready Leadership, Inner-Leadership, Human-Centered Growth

What’s this about? In a world accelerating with AI, uncertainty, and complexity, leadership is being redefined. The question under the surface isn’t just “What’s next?” - it’s “Who do we need to become to meet what’s next?” It's no longer about having all the answers - it's about how we relate: to change, to others, and to ourselves. This edition reflects on three emerging shifts I’m noticing across leadership spaces - what’s rising to the surface in real conversations, and how we can lead with more clarity, presence, and adaptability.

3 Reflections Shaping How We Lead

1. Inner pace is the new edge: The world is moving fast. That’s not new. What’s changing is how we regulate ourselves within that speed. The ones who thrive don’t just keep up. They choose their pace.
   Future-ready leadership asks us to know when to push and when to pause - when urgency serves, and when it sabotages. This isn’t about slowing down. It’s about not being swept away. Our nervous system is our first operating system, and we can learn to lead from it.

2. Influence is shifting from expertise to energy: In complex times, people don’t just follow certainty. They follow presence - the kind that steadies a room and builds trust. What moves people is how we show up. What energy we carry into the room. In a noisy, fast-moving world, the leaders we follow are those who help us feel clear, safe, and seen.
   We don’t need to have all the answers. But we do need to be anchored.
   The currency of influence is no longer certainty - it’s presence.

3. We’re leading in an age of unfinished answers: We’ve left the era of clean solutions. The challenges facing leadership today - AI ethics, culture shifts, burnout, identity - don’t come with easy answers.
   What I see across forward-looking spaces is a shift toward leaders who lead while still learning. They stay open, not because they’re unsure - but because they’re paying attention. It’s not about control anymore. It’s about capacity: to adapt, to hold paradox, to lead with both vision and humility.

2 Quotes I Keep Coming Back To

On leadership starting in the pause:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Viktor E. Frankl

A reminder that in a world wired for speed, our power is in our ability to choose -calmly, clearly, and on purpose.

On staying open while leading:
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.”
Shunryu Suzuki

This one reminds me that openness isn’t uncertainty - it’s wisdom in motion.

1 Question I’m Carrying

What’s one leadership instinct I’ve relied on in the past - that is ready to evolve in this next chapter?

P.S. This specific edition kicks off a new series in my ‘reflections from the field’ and in the next ones, I’ll be exploring each of the leadership shifts I describe here - starting with inner pace, presence as influence, and leading without certainty. Always with the same intention: To offer perspective, spark reflection, and keep growing - together.

With love, Vanessa

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What genre? Mindfulness, Inner Freedom, Self-Discovery

Why read? This book is about freeing ourselves from the inner noise that holds us back. Singer explores how we become trapped by our thoughts, emotions, and fears—often without realizing it. By learning to observe our mind instead of being controlled by it, we can unlock a sense of peace, clarity, and freedom, and remind ourselves of who we truly are, and what actually matters. A must-read for anyone looking to live with more ease by, in part, letting go of limiting beliefs.

3 Concepts That Inspired Me

1. You are not your thoughts: Most of us spend our days listening to a relentless inner dialogue—judging, worrying, planning, fearing; equating all these thoughts with who we are. Singer argues that you are not your thoughts; you are the observer of them. Once we understand this, we can separate ourselves from mental chatter, make space for clarity, and realign with who we really are.

2. Resistance creates suffering: “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional”. The more we resist uncomfortable emotions, the more power we give them. Growth happens when we allow emotions to move through us instead of holding onto them. Instead of trying to control everything, we can practice openness and trust.

3. Freedom comes from changing how we relate to the world around us: We often carry emotional baggage—old wounds, resentments, limiting beliefs—that weigh us down. Singer reminds us that real freedom isn’t about changing the world around us; it’s about changing how we relate to it. When we stop clinging to what we can’t control, we experience inner peace and lightness.

2 Excerpts I Enjoyed Reading

On living with an open heart, even in pain:

“Do not close your heart just because it has been hurt. The more you protect yourself from pain, the more you close yourself off from joy. An open heart is a heart that feels everything fully—the highs and the lows, the beauty and the loss. When you resist nothing, you become free.”

On true inner peace:

“Most people search for peace by trying to change the external world—getting the right job, the right partner, the right house. But real peace isn’t about arranging life in a perfect way. Real peace is what happens when nothing on the outside has to change for you to feel okay on the inside. When you let go of the idea that peace is ‘out there,’ you realize it was within you all along.”

1 Question I’m Asking Myself

What is one thought or fear I can practice recognizing and gently letting go of, instead of trying to control?

With love, Vanessa

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What genre? personal growth, autobiography, diversity & inclusion

Why read? in a book part-memoir, part-poetry, and part-teachings, author Najwa Zebian describes a powerful blueprint for healing, through building our home within ourself, for which she lays out prompts and practical tools for self-understanding

3 concepts that inspired me:

1. Build your home within yourself: home is where we can unapologetically be ourselves and where our soul feels it belongs. Today, some of us build our homes in other people (waiting for their validation - to feel we belong), or in other times (living in the past, or projecting to the future). This, Zebian explains, leads to disappointment, frustration and a lack of stability. Building our home within ourselves, and in the moment, is the way to experience feeling grounded and fulfilled. And the best way to build it you ask? It is to create within ourselves (and frequently visit) rooms for self-love, forgiveness, compassion, clarity, surrender and dreaming.

2. Enter the self-love room everyday: to show up as the best version of ourselves for us and for others, self-love would ideally be an integral part of our daily lives, not a luxury. To achieve that, we would need to define ourselves by the love we have within us, not strictly by the love we receive from external sources. For that purpose, the author shares ideas and tips on how to practice self-love (beyond taking care of ourselves or indulging) such as practicing how to create a bubble to not get enmeshed with other people’s emotions, deliberately recognizing all the places we are receiving love from, or simply setting an intention in the morning: “Today I am going to see proofs that I am worthy of love”.

3. Welcome negative emotions as visitors of your home, not permanent residents: the next time we start feeling negative emotions, let’s remind ourselves that they are temporary visitors, not permanent ones. And the best way to greet (and therefore process) them is to welcome them, acknowledge where they’re coming from, ask them about what they’re trying to tell us, and then patiently know they will be leaving soon as they have fulfilled their purpose.

2 excerpts I enjoyed reading:

On showing ourselves compassion:

“These mountains you are carrying… you were only supposed to climb.”

On being whole and becoming whole-r:

“You were always a masterpiece.

The difference now

is that your pieces

found more beauty in being

together

than in being scattered.

The difference now is that you are the master

of your pieces”

1 question I’m asking myself:

Which room within myself requires most attention (the room of self-love? forgiveness? compassion? dreaming? or surrender?) and what can I do to help build it up?

With love, Vanessa

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This newsletter’s format is inspired by James Clear’s ‘3-2-1’.

To mark the National Arab American Heritage Month (this past April), I chose one of my favorite books: the Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran, a Lebanese-American writer. I grew up back home in Beirut having a very deep appreciation for him.

What genre? life wisdom, inspiration, poetry fables

Why read? in a collection of twenty-six beautiful and deeply insightful poetic essays, the author Kahlil Gibran shares the wisdom of a prophet who is asked fundamental questions by a group of people on love, marriage, law, pain, freedom, self-knowledge and other topics on life and the human condition

3 concepts that inspired me:

1. Rest in reason and move in passion: Our souls are often a battlefield between our reason & judgement on one hand, and our passion & desires on the other. If we let our reason rule alone, it would act as a confining force… and if we let our passion unattended, it will be like a flame that burns into its own destruction. Let us instead consider both as two loved guests in our house that we honor equally - let our soul elevate our reason to the height of our passion, and let it as much lead our passion with reason, so that our passion may ‘live through its own daily resurrection’.

2. Put love into your work: Kahlil Gibran describes work as a way to keep pace with the soul of the earth. He says that keeping ourselves busy with work is a way to, in truth, love life. More importantly putting love into our work is how we bind ourselves to ourselves, and to one another. No matter the work we choose, let’s find ways to doing it with love, to make it wholesome for ourselves and others - indeed the baker who creates bread with love creates a sweet bread that fully feeds man’s hunger. Work is “love made visible”.

3. Give what you’re able to give, and learn to receive. Let’s give whatever we’re capable of giving, let’s try to give even when unasked, and let’s above all, try to give with joy - as joy will be our biggest reward. As for when we’re receivers, let’s learn to “rise with the giver on their gifts as on wings”, and let’s not worry or be over-mindful of our debts, as it would be to doubt our givers’ generosity and joy in giving us.

2 excerpts I enjoyed reading:

On the bond of a healthy union and love:

“You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. (…) But let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. (…) Fill each other’s cups but drink not from one cup. (…) Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

On joy and sorrow being inseparable:

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? (…) When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for what has been your delight. ”

1 question I’m asking myself:

Next time, my passion (or reason) completely takes over, what can I do to also listen to my second beloved guest within?

Dear all, to ensure I continue putting all my love and care into these newsletters - quite timely with this book’s learnings :), I am turning them into monthly ones (at least for now). Whenever life allows it, I will be releasing extra editions. With love always, Vanessa

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This newsletter’s format is inspired by James Clear’s ‘3-2-1’.

What genre? self-leadership, personal growth, leadership of others

Why read? in our highly interconnected, unpredictable, fast-changing, and complex world, and with reflexes that are not always helping, Jennifer Garvey Berger explores ways to make increased complexity our friend. She describes 5 mindtraps (i.e., cognitive and emotional shortcuts automatically used which can lead us in the wrong direction), and offers ways to unlock and solve them, for better decision-making and increased wellbeing in our life and in our work. 

3 concepts that inspired me:

1. Change your relationship with “being wrong”, and adapt the way you listen to others: Instead of trying to be right or to fix something, ask yourself in what ways you could be wrong. Just because it feels right, it doesn’t mean it is right. Our sense of being right is an emotion like others  - in fact, our brains have evolved to trick us that it is a thought or a reasoning process, but it is not, it is just an emotion. And whenever we find reasons to prove that we were right about something, it is often post-decision justification. We might have needed our sense of rightness for survival, however today it is hurting our curiosity and creativity. Let’s constantly challenge our beliefs, and treat being wrong as productive as being right - this will only make us better humans. As Kathryn Schultz put it “We are wrong about what it means to be wrong. Far from being a sign of intellectual inferiority, the capacity to err is crucial to human cognition. Far from being a moral flaw, it is inextricable from some of our most humane and honorable qualities: empathy, optimism, imagination, conviction, and courage (…)”

2. Try to imagine multiple stories on what is happening around you vs automatically believing one (especially when it’s hurting you):  We humans love simple stories, and have used them to bring together tribes, religions, societies. We like to make the past simple in our mind (even when it wasn’t so clean or heroic), and we like to project a simplistic future. We like to create a beginning, middle and end, to connect cause and effects, and to identify heroes and villains. And for that, our brains fill the missing pieces with data we invent (refer to not making assumptions - in my previous newsletter). Creating these simple stories feels like it frees us from anxiety. However, the stories that we are telling ourselves are often not a true representation of the reality and will lead us to less-than-ideal decision making and often increased anxiety. Though it may be hard to stop creating simple stories in our minds, we should at least remember they’re just “simple stories” we’ve made up, believe in them less, and think of additional stories we may want to consider.

3. Look at conflicts as a way to deepen relationships and at disagreements as a way to come up with better ideas and possibilities: Today, we avoid disagreements/conflicts as we fear rejection and believe that agreement will lead to a sense of connection. It also literally feels good to agree as the brain releases dopamine when we agree with others. However, longing for agreement becomes counter-productive as it doesn’t expand our solution space and robs us of good ideas, since we withhold contradictory information that is necessary to find good solutions.  We need diversity of experiences, approaches, and ideas to lead to better decisions in our life and our work. Let’s be okay with, and express disagreeing with others as a way to make our relationships stronger and our joint ideation better. 

2 excerpts I enjoyed reading:

On finding your purpose:

“Each day, see if you can find at least one moment where your deep gladness and the world’s hunger meet, and jot down what that might look like on a plaque. Even if these are tiny moments - ‘Made a child laugh’ or ‘Eased the load for a colleague by helping her solve a problem’ - these are the seeds of your purpose. Collect them, and the shape and colors of the evolving garden will bloom”

On using your emotions as guidance and regulation:

“As you notice a strong emotion, imagine that it is braided together by many different colors of emotions. See if you can begin to just unpick the braid, laying out the colors alongside one another. Anger over negative feedback might unbraid into shame, indignation, gratitude, and the seeds of connection and change. It will help you deal better with each of your emotions (particularly the darker ones) if you can see all the shades that have created it. Unbraiding these emotions  and allowing them to simply be will let you climb out of the simple stories, let go of your need for control, and generally find your way out of the mindtraps”

1 question I’m asking myself:

What is one difficult emotion I have been feeling or am feeling right now, and how can I unbraid it in different colors of emotions, to better help me deal with it?

With love, Vanessa

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This newsletter’s format is inspired by James Clear’s ‘3-2-1’.

What genre? autobiography, personal growth, leadership & inclusion

Why read? in an authentic and honest voice, Michelle Obama’s memoir full of meaning and accomplishment, invites us to learn about the events that have shaped her (from childhood to motherhood and to the White House), while inspiring us and advocating for a more inclusive, tolerant and courageous world

3 concepts that inspired me:

1. Even in difficult moments, try to write down potential happy hypotheses on what is taking place.1 No matter what is happening to us and around us, we can take further charge of our happiness by pushing ourselves to think of potential happy hypotheses. Optimism is an antidote to fear: reminding ourselves of the larger pictures and imagining “what else” could be true can make a real difference. Even if we do not fully believe in these happy hypotheses, merely thinking about them helps our brain to automatically start collecting evidence for them…and we might be astonished at what we may find.

2. Letting go of needing people’s approval can only help you become a better version of yourself. The issue with needing to please others is the risk of staying on the established path to be impressive to them in however way they define “achievements” or “good life choices”. When we care less about what people think, we can speak our mind more freely, take bigger risks, listen more clearly to our inner voice and guidance, and simply evolve in a truer and better version of ourselves.

3. Identify your “believers” in your life, appreciate them, and then pay it forward. Michelle Obama says that the important parts of her story were less in the surface value of her accomplishments and more in the many ways she felt supported and empowered throughout the years, with all the people who helped her build her confidence. She encourages us to identify our “own personal gospel choir”, to show them gratitude, and then to pay it forward. Even showing a few minutes of interest in others can make a whole lot of a difference for them and help “boost” them.2 Giving back and being generous to others have the extra benefit of making us happier as well.

2 excerpts I enjoyed reading:

On the beauty of continuous growth and possibilities:

“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end. I became a mother but I still have a lot to learn from and give to my children. I became a wife, but I continue to adapt to and be humbled by what it means to truly love and make a life with another person. I have become, by certain measures, a person of power, and yet there are moments still when I feel insecure or unheard. It’s all the process, steps along a path. Becoming requires equal parts patience and rigor. Becoming is never giving up on the idea that there’s more growing to be done.”

On showing up with courage and inclusivity:

“Let’s invite one another in. Maybe then we can begin to fear less, to make fewer wrong assumptions, to let go of the biases and stereotypes that unnecessarily divide us. Maybe we can better embrace the ways we are the same. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about where you get yourself in the end. There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there is grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.”

1 question I’m asking myself:

With gratitude to all my “believers”, what is one small way I can pay it forward this week and boost someone who may benefit from it?

With love, Vanessa

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This newsletter’s format is inspired by James Clear’s ‘3-2-1’.

Part I - the “obstacles” to Joy (a future newsletter will feature Part II - the “pillars” of Joy).

What genre? personal growth, self-leadership, spirituality

Why read? in a heart-warming dialogue facilitated by the author Douglas Abrams, two spiritual masters, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop Desmond Tutu, having both overcome a multitude of hardships, discuss how to find joy in the face of life’s inevitable suffering, through trading stories and ideas, with humility, humour and light-heartedness

3 concepts that inspired me:

1. Embrace difficult moments as a gateway to joy and compassion. While pain in life is inevitable, we always have the freedom to choose how to respond to it. As the Archbishop expresses it: “We can face suffering in a way that ennobles rather than embitters. We have hardship without becoming hard. We have heartbreak without being broken.” That doesn’t mean denying pain or suffering; in fact, allowing ourselves to feel the pain opens the gate to other feelings: “we may cry more easily, but we will laugh more easily, too. Perhaps, we are just more alive.” Indeed, feeling a moderate level of sadness has been shown to improve our judgement and memory, as well as encourage our empathy and generosity.

2. When it hurts, focus on others - feeling a connection and “oneness” with others will lessen the pain. We all are biologically wired to be compassionate: so when we’re feeling down, we can help ourselves feel better by simply recognizing that we are all connected (enlarging our identity), and that we are not alone in whatever pain we are feeling (others have felt it or are feeling it too at the same moment). We can also generally increase our wellbeing by acknowledging that we are ourselves thanks to others (by practicing the South African philosophy of ‘Ubuntu’ - I am because we are), and finally, by taking joy in the good fortunes of others (by cultivating the Buddhist concept of ‘Mudita’, recognizing that happiness is limitless, not a zero sum game).

3. Helping others doesn’t have to be complicated - simply showing up, fully present, in an authentic manner, can be enough1. The Dalai Lama tries to be truly available in the moment to each and every person he encounters, and deeply connected to others as a fellow human being. This alone has a positive uplifting impact on others. In every interaction, we can help others by simply showing up to them fully present, “untethered by the ruminating memories of the past and not lured by the anticipatory worry about the future.”

2 excerpts I enjoyed reading:

On choosing a life of purpose2:

“I think maximum lifespan is about a hundred years. Compared to human history, a hundred years is quite short. So if we utilize that short period to create more problems on this planet, our life would be meaningless. If we could live for a million years, then *maybe* it would be worthwhile to create some problems. But our life is short. Now you see, we are guests here on this planet, visitors who have come for a short time, so we need to use our days wisely, to make our world a little better for everyone.”

On the virtuous circle of happiness:

“What does our happiness have to do with addressing the suffering of the world? In short, the more we heal our own pain, the more we can change the pain of others. But in a surprising way, […] the way we heal our own pain is actually by turning to the pain of others. It is a virtuous circle. The more we turn toward others, the more joy we experience, and the more joy we experience, the more we can bring joy to others. The goal is not just to create joy for ourselves but […] to be a reservoir of joy, an oasis of peace, a pool of serenity that can ripple out to all those around you.”

1 question I’m asking myself:

What is one small thing I can start doing right now to bring a little bit more joy into my life, in order to also better support others?

With love, Vanessa

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This newsletter’s format is inspired by James Clear’s ‘3-2-1’.

What genre? biography, self-leadership, physics

Why read? delves into the nature of life, happiness, sciences etc. through Leonard Mlodinow’s narration of his friendship with one of the brightest minds in physics, Richard Feynman, during their overlapping time at Caltech, in Feynman’s final years

3 concepts that inspired me:

1. Knowledge is critical but don’t let it limit your thinking. While Feynman was highly educated, he said “too much education can cause you trouble”. What he meant is that while we of course very much benefit from learning new knowledge, theories, philosophies etc., we also need to make sure we don’t become captive of all we enjoy soaking in, and that we always deliberately create space to challenge what we know or have learned - one way he suggests doing that is through constantly asking ourselves “What if…” questions.

2. Find ways to regularly invite the kid in you out to play. Though sometimes harder to maintain as we get older, creating ways to stay playful is critical to our imagination, problem-solving abilities and well-being. Continuously inviting (and even “scheduling”) play into both our personal and professional lives is core to the creative process. As Einstein said: “To stimulate creativity, one must develop the childlike inclination for play… and the childlike desire for recognition” :)

3. Pursue goals that move You, and that bring You self-satisfaction. Although he had the opportunity to, Feynman didn’t always pursue leadership roles or sexy theories that others might seek. He found satisfaction in discovering things that he deemed important, even when he was only deriving someone else’s results in his own way. He also found creativity and meaning in mundane every-day life tasks. This was self-satisfaction for him. His focus and motivation were very much internal and through that, he found freedom.

2 excerpts I enjoyed reading:

On not overthinking happiness:

“When you laugh at a joke, if you think about why you laughed you might realize, after all, it wasn’t funny, it was silly, so you stop laughing. You shouldn’t think about it. My rule is, when you are unhappy, think about it… But when you’re happy, don’t. Why spoil it? You’re probably happy for some ridiculous reason and you just spoil it to know it.”

On the scientist in each one of us:

“Don’t think it is so different, being a scientist. [Any…] person is not so far away from a scientist. He may be far away from an artist or poet, but I doubt that too. I think in the normal common sense of every day life, that there is a lot of the kind of thinking that scientists do. Everyone puts together in ordinary life certain things to come to conclusions about the ordinary world. They make things that weren’t there, such as drawings, such as writing, such as […] theories. Is there something common in the process? I don’t see such a big difference between that and the scientist’s work.”

1 question I’m asking myself:

In a world where I am neither worried about what others think, nor about my own self-judgment… what is one new thing I might try?

With love, Vanessa

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This newsletter’s format is inspired by James Clear’s ‘3-2-1’.

What genre? personal growth, self-leadership, interpersonal relationships 

Why read? describes a few simple principles, inspired by Toltec wisdom, to lead a more balanced, peaceful life

3 concepts that inspired me:

1. Re-think personal beliefs that may cause you suffering. There are hundreds of “agreements” we’ve made with ourselves, which we would benefit from re-questioning i.e., “This is what I am. This is what I believe. This is what I can do. This is what I cannot do”. Some of these beliefs come from our fears and they are the foundation of our pain and our suffering. To live a more fulfilled life, we could identify then try to let go of the agreements which do not serve us.

2. Don’t take anything personally. What people say and how people behave around you are a reflection of who they are, what they’re going through, of their own worries, insecurities, fears, wounds etc. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if someone says hurtful things to you directly, it doesn’t have much to do with you, it has a lot to do with them. In not taking anything personally, one can grow in empathy but also preserve so much energy they otherwise would waste on being upset or hurt with others’ words and actions - often unrelated to them.

3. Always do your best. And your best will vary. Sometimes you’re in a great place and your best will feel top notch to you. Other times you’re tired, sick, or sad - and your best will not feel great to you. That’s okay - as long as you try your best, no more and no less, one should feel good. If you do more than you feel you can give, you deplete your body from precious energy, which will hurt you in the long run. If you do less than you feel you can give, you will experience frustrations or self-judgement. Always just do the best you have access to.

2 excerpts I enjoyed reading:

On self-forgiveness:

“How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves. If justice exists,  then that was enough, we don’t need to do it again. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. If we have a wife or a husband, he or she also reminds us of the mistake, so we can judge ourselves again, punish ourselves again, and find ourselves guilty again. Is this fair?”

On making assumptions:

“It is very interesting how the human mind works. We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe. We have millions of questions that need answers because there are so many things that the reasoning mind cannot explain. It is not important if the answer is correct, just the answer itself makes us feel safe. This is why we make assumptions . If others tell us something, we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something, we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. […]  We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions. […] We have agreed that it is not safe to ask questions; we have agreed that if people love us, they should know what we want or how we feel. If you don’t understand something, it is better for you to ask and be clear, instead of making an assumption.”

1 question I’m asking myself:

What is one agreement I’ve had with myself which I can practice letting go of - one I believe comes from fear and that hasn’t been serving me?

With love, Vanessa

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This newsletter’s format is inspired by James Clear’s ‘3-2-1’.

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